The Joey Rule
Dear Parents,
For a long time now, my family has abided by the “Joey Rule.”
Joey was my son’s classmate from elementary school. The “Joey Rule” originated with a challenge that Joey’s parents issued to all of the families in the school to see if they could go screen-free on school days throughout the year.
My son didn’t love the idea at first; he loved his evening TV show. But he quickly adapted to a new routine: empty and put away the lunch box and backpack, do any homework, play outside, dinner with the family, and then read aloud.
Luke is 18 now and getting ready to graduate high school — and he’s kept this after-school routine mostly intact for almost ten years!
I’m still inspired by that tech-free challenge from so long ago, and even more so after reading The Anxious Generation last spring. So I thought it would be fitting to put forth those same ideas to our current Ambleside families. In September, the school gave each family their own copy of The Tech-Wise Family by Andy Crouch to hopefully inform and inspire a similar response.
Since that time I have heard from a number of families about the positive impact of this book on their lives. Here is one I thought you would enjoy reading in full:
“In the warmer months, when the sun is shining, the second I pull into our driveway after school, my kids typically burst out of the minivan and sprint across the yard to see if the neighbor is home and ready to play.
But they're not allowed to play outside after dark and don't enjoy playing outside as much when it gets below about 40 degrees. These days, we don't get home much before dark, and it's below 40 almost every day.
So since about Thanksgiving, my kids have fallen out of the habit of running to play outside and instead have been bursting out of the minivan and running straight to our basement, where the TV is.
That works for me, as I appreciate the time to unload and unpack, change out of my own work clothes and get dinner started.
However, over the past several weeks, my husband and I have been noticing that whenever our kids camp out in front of the TV after school, it's hard to get them to come back upstairs for dinner or their daily half-hour of reading. So dinner gets pushed back later, reading happens later, bedtime happens later, and then the kiddos – and my husband and I – are tired and grumpy the next morning.
My husband and I don't love the idea of our kids sitting in front of the TV for an hour or two after school every day in the first place, but allowing it initially seemed like the easiest and most helpful game plan because he and I both appreciated and needed the time to get other things done without much interruption.
But the grumpy, stressful mornings made it clear to us that the afternoon TV time was beginning to unravel the integrity of the entire remainder of each day.
Meanwhile, we had been skim-reading Andy Crouch's Tech-Wise Family book. Finally, after one particularly stressful day, my husband decided that we needed to nix TV after school altogether, and he and I needed to take the lead in tone-setting for the night. So for the past couple weeks, as soon as the kids and I get home from school, my husband and I each take one child and go do their reading, any other practice work they have brought home, and along the way typically end up playing one-on-one with them as well.
What we have seen is that with one-on-one reading time taking the place of TV after school, our kids are happier, they are fighting with each other less, they are playing better with each other after dinner, and somehow my husband and I are still finding the space in the evening to make dinner and do our other tasks.
The new schedule requires commitment and focused, intentional effort as soon as I get home, and it has required my husband to pause his workday (which most days he is thankfully able to do), but these sacrifices have been a hundred percent worth it. Leaving out that hour or two of TV time is breathing new life into our family relationships and putting smiles on our little ones' faces. And that is priceless.”
When I read this note, I was reminded of something Crouch said in this book: “[Our homes] are meant to be places where the very best of life happens… and the very best of life has almost nothing to do with the devices we buy.”
I think that’s something we can all agree upon.
May we all be encouraged and inspired to make our homes places where the best of life can happen.
Fondly,
Krise